With a Heartbeat
by fetching
Summary: Because for all the time they spent together, there were certain moments of their past that brought them this close. A mix of Ruka/Kain one-shots.
1. Swimming

**Hey guys! This is a new story of mine. It will be a whole bunch of one-shots for Kain/Ruka. I had the inspiration while watching a video. It had a lot of pictures of the famous 'Pon & Zi' (If you've never heard of them you should search them in Google images. They're quite cute.) I realized that a lot of the sayings in the pictures reflected a lot of aspects of Kain and Ruka's relationship. So I wrote down every quote and decided to write a short story for each one. Hope you all enjoy. :)**

**Disclaimer: As much as I wish I owned Vampire Knight or Pon and Zi, I don't. Not even a little bit…except in my world.**

**___**

_If I can't hear you heartbeat, you're too far away…_

Ruka hated water. She absolutely despised it. She hadn't gone swimming since she was a little girl. And she had only done so then because her brothers hadn't left her much of a choice. It was either jump, or get thrown in.

Today she was determined. Perched on the dock, in only a bathing suit, for the past hour and a half, sat the one and only Ruka Souen. It's not like she _couldn't _get in. Of course she could. It was just…well, it looked so cold, and dark, and well, fine! Maybe she _couldn't _get in. So she was scared. Was that such a big deal? No, it wasn't.

She stood up and slowly peered over the edge of the dock. _Black, deep, scary. _She had to do this. She could do this. She _wanted _to do this. Right? She had to get over this fear. It wasn't rational and she –

"Cannonball!" Ruka barely had time to scream before a pair of arms (she supposed they belonged to the voice) wrapped around her mid-section and dove straight into the dark, freezing water.

The initial shock had caused her to scream, letting out her supply of oxygen. The arms had disappeared from around her as soon as they had hit the water, leaving her alone, freezing, and out of breath. She struggled for air, sucking in only water. _'This is it' _she reasoned. _'I'm going to drown. I'm going to die all alone in a lake where no one will find me.' _She couldn't tell which way was up. In her panic, everything was black and hazy. Still, she was determined not to give up, kicking her legs and flailing her arms about. Her lungs burned and she attempted to concentrate.

She heard voices. Very, very faint voices. She strained her ears, trying to follow the sound, only catching certain words here and there.

"_Sorry!…How…didn't know…can't swim?"_

There was another murmur and a loud splash from her right. Another pair of warm arms embraced her and she clung on for dear life. She wrapped her arms around this someone's neck and her legs around their waist. They were strong, kicking steadily towards the surface

Ruka gasped as they broke the surface of the water. Inhaling as much air as possible to her deprived lungs. Through ragged breathing she began sobbing and shaking, burying her face into her mystery saviour's shoulder. She inhaled deeply, recognizing the scent of firewood and mint. Akatsuki.

She clung desperately to him, burying her face in the crook of his neck, trying to control her unsteady breathing. _In, out, in, out, in, ou- _

"Umm, it's…okay. You're not going to drown. I promise." He attempted to pry her off of him, just a little. Instead of letting go, she screamed a muffled 'NO!' and tightened her grip on him. Her nails dug into his back, but in her opinion he would just have to deal with it for now, because she wasn't letting go anytime soon. He sighed in reply, wrapping his left arm around her waist, stroking her hair with the other. Someone snickered in the background.

"Jeez Ruka, I didn't know you were _that _scared. I was just kidding around you know. You didn't have to –"

"Shut up, Hanabusa." Kain grumbled. He really wasn't in the mood for his cousin's babbling right now. Said cousin put on a pouting face and huffed.

"Fine. I'm going back. See you guys later." He glided over and gracefully hopped out of the water. Grabbing his shirt, towel, and shoes he began to walk back.

"Don't let go." Ruka whispered, finally regaining her voice. Her eyes were slammed shut tight, refusing to open. Kain shook his head slowly.

"We have to go back at some point and I think you've had enough swimming for today."

But, because he could never deny her anything. He swam slowly to the dock placing her up first, but quickly wrapping his arms back around her. He pulled his shirt over his head quickly, wrapping a towel around her and picking her up bridal-style. She clutched to his shirt as he cradled her to his broad chest. As they walked, she listened to the rhythmic _thump-thump, thump-thump _of his heart, quickly letting her eyes drift shut. She was in his arms, warm, safe, and sure as hell never going swimming again. Everything was right in the world.

_If I can't hear your heartbeat, you're too far away…_


	2. King & Queen

**Hola! The second instalment of With a Heartbeat. I hope you all enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Again, I still wish I owned this stuff, but I don't. Not any of it.**

**___**

_I can't sleep 'cause my pillow is too wet…_

One. Two. Three.

Pat. Pat. Pat.

Her tears fell, one by one. Slowly soaking her pillow and causing stray hairs to stick to her face. Muffled sobs were barely heard through the covers in a darkened room. Curtains drawn shut; clamped together with pins; door locked. Because no one was allowed to see her like this. Not the beautiful, dignified Ruka Souen. No one had seen her shed a tear, aside from her parents. She had been taught from a young age never to cry in public. She was to be calm, smiling, and well-behaved.

No one was allowed to see what inner stress or depression she held behind her glassy eyes.

Ruka had always prided herself with the fact that she never cried. She was the most controlled of all the people around her, at all times. Even when poked and prodded, Ruka was adamant to keep her face clear of emotion; even when most others would have flinched at the harsh, cold words.

It was her place. This was where she stood in life. As far as she was concerned, tears were weakness. And no matter how fearful and weak she truly was, she'd be damned before she recognized it herself.

And it was at this point in life she realized (convinced herself), that she would be the perfect lover. She would never show hurt or distress to anyone, not even her husband. She would care for her family, take care of them, love them. She could do whatever was needed of her without hesitation, even if it meant putting herself through mental hell; because Ruka could control herself. She would be able to let the love and compassion shine through, without ever showing signs of depression or weakness.

That's what every man needed wasn't it? A woman who could be presented in public with a smile. A woman who could walk gracefully, support her husband, and hold her tongue when she was told. Ruka had mastered all of these skills. Not to mention her evident beauty.

She had been told she was beautiful. Of course she had. Many, many times over. Even Kaname, the man she had been after since she met him, had told her she was beautiful.

She was a queen among queens. So why was it still not enough? Possibly because she still had moments like these, where she was alone and her defences shattered. Possibly because no matter how much she denied it, she was still a little girl hiding behind a dignified woman's silhouette. She was a fake, an imitation, a lie. And truly, deep down, that would never be enough.

And so, her heart silently broke in the darkness

___

In another room down the hall, a nearly identical scene took place. No one would see the tears. Completely silent, not even a sigh. His heart broke with her, _for _her – because she was the only thing he could ever need, _his _queen of all queens. If she fell, he fell with her.

And so, in two different rooms, two people, cried over two different hearts that broke for the exact same reason.

One. Two. Three.

Pat. Pat. Pat.

_I can't sleep 'cause my pillow is too wet…_

**___**

**Sorry this took so long! **_**Silence **_**is sort of my main priority right now and this story is kind of taking the back seat. I promise I'll try harder!**

**One thing that would make my day is a review! They are my oxygen so don't be afraid to tell me what you think!**

**-Lilly**


	3. Signals For Innocence

**Chapter three! I'm really trying hard to update these. I hope everyone enjoys the story so far!**

**I don't own Ruka, Kain or Vampire Knight in general. (As much as I wish I did.)**

**___**

_When I put my lips like this, I want you to kiss me..._

Akatsuki Kain knew Ruka Souen. He knew her like the back of his hand. Possibly more than anyone could know another human being. Like when she sat perfectly straight, she was self conscious. When she held her head high, she was hurt inside.

Hiding emotions was her specialty, her area of expertise, her forte.

So how, he asked himself, in the name of God, did this always end up happening? _(Because she was a liar and he was a thief.) _Why was it always him? _(Because even her pretence couldn't hold against temptation. So willing...so willing...)_

He remembered the first time it had happened. Rejected again, he figured, as he waited for her outside the door. Why she kept trying, he would never know.

Sure enough, moments later she backed through the doorway as the door clicked shut behind her. Facing the wall for a few seconds she turned to stare at him.

It was a game they played, you see; to test which one of them would give in first.

"Come to laugh at me?" she whispered. Her words were bitter and cold, cutting through the air like a winter's breeze. He remained indifferent.

"Never."

Her eyes narrowed (Untrusting) and she turned to stalk away. He followed her at a leisurely pace, hands in his pockets, nothing but the sound of their footsteps and slightly hitched breathing. They walked this way until she turned a corner.

There was no one left. The classes had been cancelled for the day, leaving every hall desolate and silent. She stopped abruptly and hung her head. (Ashamed, he noted.)

"Liar." She whispered. (He knew she was holding back.) He raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?" She didn't turn to face him. (She was scared.)

"You. Are. A. Liar." She said clearly. Her voice becoming stronger, she finally turned to look at him. "You think I'm stupid. That I'm wasting my time. I know what people say about me. 'Oh look there's that Souen girl. What a _whore_ she must be, trying to seduce the Pureblood prince.' I am _sick _of being told that I will _never _be enough. That I will always come in second, no matter what. And I am so fucking _sick _of playing nice, and being my parent's prize. Do you know what it's like to wake up every morning and wish you were human? To look in the mirror and see something substantially less than perfect?" Tears had started to brim in her eyes by this point. Threatening to spill over and run down her face.

"I am so completely and utterly _done_ being perfect, Akatsuki. For once in my life I want to do the wrong thing. To end up in a tangled mess that will most definitely need to be kept a secret."

Her tears had already splashed to the ground, leaving track marks down her flawless cheeks. Her eyes took on a slightly insane look as she locked them with his and raised a shaking hand to point at his chest.

"You're going to help me." She murmured. Already shocked into silence, he shook his head slowly.

"No, I'm not." He said quietly. She frowned slightly.

"Why not?"

"Why should I?" She seemed to think for a minute before placing her small hands on his arms and stepping closer.

"Because I need you. I need your help, and I don't trust anyone else." She moved her arms to his shoulders and pressed her face into the crook of his neck. He stood still, frozen in shock and indecision. He could agree. God, did he want to agree. He would – _they_ would be in so much trouble if they were caught. Her, by her mother's hand, him by his father's. But she was making it so hard to care.

"Ruka I-"

"Please." She whispered, slowly brushing her lips along his jaw. Well then, that was that. He quickly spun them to trap her against the wall. He leaned in close, close enough to feel her breath across his face as he spoke, and looked straight into her eyes.

"Do you understand what you're trying to do? How much this could cost you? If anyone found out, there would be hell to pay and your reputation would be destroyed. I couldn't live with myself if I did that to you."

She bit her lip and looked innocently up at him. (She was teasing him and he knew it.) She placed a hand on his face and said quietly "I know exactly what I'm doing. And I know you're going to help me, because that's who you are. You can't say no when someone needs you, and you know it." Her eyes widened, displaying nothing but fake innocence. "And I need you. Right now."

She bit her lip again, and she knew he was using all his willpower to keep the small amount of distance left between them.

"Ruka, I can't just..." he ground out, looking away from her.

"You can." She said quietly. "I can only attempt to convince you for so long, Akatsuki." Slowly, he dragged his eyes back to hers. "I'm sorry." Was the last thing he whispered before carefully placing his lips over hers. She smiled lightly into the kiss, already feeling more free than she had in years.

That was the first night of many. And now, as he stood in her room, once again helping her to destroy her life (or improve it as she always looked at it), he realized that every signal she had ever used, every signal she used now, they were all part of her scheme. Anything Ruka did had a purpose, even down to the last little movement. She knew exactly how to get what she wanted, and from then on, whenever she bit her lip, whenever she looked innocent, she was, to him, considered more dangerous than at any other time.

She was a master of this game they played, and somehow, no matter how hard he tried, he could never win.

_When I put my lips like this, I want you to kiss me..._

___

**Ah, finally done. This was quite a bit more angsty than I had anticipated, but overall I liked it. This is, of course, just my opinion and I encourage you to leave yours in a review! It would be extremely appreciated!**

**-Lilly**


	4. Of Daisies And Kleenex

**I'm baaack! Sorry guys! I was in Mexico for two weeks with no internet! I think I almost died without my laptop. So, without further delay, read on!**

**I don't own Vampire Knight or anything in or related to it. (Well except for my plot ideas.) Nor do I own Pon & Zi.**

_I wish I had a nose._

At first, no one would believe it. Then again, how often, if ever, did this happen? Vampires didn't get sick. Especially not from a _cold_. A stupid human illness they all caught in the winter. How could anyone have known it was possible? Either way, it had happened. At first she wouldn't admit it. She acted fine, got dressed each night, went to class. Then it got worse. She developed a cough, a runny nose (which she thought was particularly disgusting), her throat hurt, her body ached, she couldn't smell or taste, and she was just _so_ tired. She had to admit it at some point, because as it was quite clear to everyone else...

"I'm sick."

Rima blinked back at her quietly as Ruka stood in her nightgown in the middle of their shared room. Holding a glass of water and blood tablets, she looked like death.

"Could you - achoo! – let – achoo! -"

"I'll let them know you won't be there."

"Thank you." She said quietly with a small sniff and a sip of her water.

When Rima left, Ruka flopped unceremoniously onto her bed after placing her water and tablets on the bedside table. She moaned in pain at how much her body ached. Everything hurt and she would gladly curl up and die if she could. (At this point she wouldn't doubt it was possible.)

Dragging herself under the covers, she sighed. Damn Hanabusa and his snow obsession. It was his fault anyways. Throwing snowballs at her constantly, making sure she was dripping wet by the time she walked inside. It was the middle of winter! Honestly!

Curling into a ball, she winced with every breath, the air scratching her throat raw. She reached over to the bedside table and dropped her blood tablets into the water. She waited until they dissolved and downed the entire glass at once, hoping to soothe her tortured throat.

The burning subsided somewhat, but not enough. It still stung to breathe and her chest was heavy. She hid under the blankets and listened to the ticking of the clock. Sometime later, she heard the door open and close softly. Wondering who the mystery guest was, she pulled the covers down far enough so that only her eyes were visible.

Kain stood by the door, uniform jacket in hand, staring at the massive lump of blankets that was Ruka.

"How are you feeling?"

"Disgusting." She replied, voice raspy. He sighed and dropped his jacket on a nearby chair, which he then pulled up next to the bed to sit on. He felt her burning forehead with the back of his hand and flinched. She was on fire.

"Have you had any blood recently?"

She nodded a yes and pointed to the empty glass next to her.

"Did it help?"

She nodded her head no. He sighed again and ran his fingers through his hair before rolling up his shirt sleeves. He carefully pulled the blanket down and placed his wrist in front of her.

"Drink."

Her eyes widened in shock. She shook her head frantically, a raspy 'no' escaping her cracked lips. Was he insane? She couldn't drink from him. He was her best friend! And that was not, _not _best friend behaviour. He frowned in annoyance.

"Jesus Ruka it's for your health's sake. You have to drink something other than blood tablets. Clearly they're not working."

She closed her eyes for a moment. He was right. The blood tablets had been as much help as regular water, which was not much help at all. And her throat hurt _so _badly. Maybe just a little, just a drop...

Before she could clearly comprehend what was happening, her mouth was at Kain's wrist and he hissed as her fangs pierced the skin. His blood was thick and warm and it calmed most of the burning in her throat. Never had she been more grateful for blood than at that second and she made a mental note that she would owe him a million favours in return.

He stroked her hair patiently for a few minutes, waiting for her to finish. After a while he had to stop her before the room began to spin. He attempted to pull his arm away, only to have her grip tighten and for her to whimper in disappointment.

"Ruka, please, I'm sorry. You can have more later if you need it, but you have to stop."

She whimpered again as she carefully pulled away and he felt bad having to stop her. He began to stroke her hair again as she lay back down and pulled the blankets up around her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, eyes closed.

"Don't be." He answered. "As long as you feel better."

Actually, truth be told her throat was calm enough for her to possibly get some proper sleep. But her body still ached and her head was pounding while her nose was just as plugged as before. She closed her eyes as a few tears began to escape and slide onto the pillow below her. Her face remained calm as more tears began to leak through her lashes.

"What's wrong? Does it hurt?"

She shook her head no and took a deep breath.

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm s-sick and I can't s-s-sleep and I hurt all over and I d-don't know why I'm c-crying and now I feel s-s-stupid." She sobbed. It was unreasonable but she had been sick for days and she was exhausted and she just couldn't take anymore. She was mentally and physically done. She couldn't handle this so she broke down like a small child.

Kain continued to stroke her hair, trying to calm her somewhat so that she would be able to rest.

"It's okay. Shhh, I promise you'll be okay. You're not stupid, just try to get some rest. You'll feel a little better tomorrow I swear."

Eventually her ragged breathing picked up somewhat of a rhythm and Kain felt it was time to leave. He gently pulled his hand away from where it had been resting on her bed, only to have her grip tighten and pull him back.

"No. Stay." She whispered. He stared at her pale face, sighed and sat back down.

It was at least two hours later before he could slip away.

When Ruka woke up, the first thing she noticed was that Kain was not still beside her. The second thing she noticed, however, immediately erased all disappointment from her mind. There, in a massive vase nest to her bed was a beautiful, colourful bouquet of daisies. She looked closely and pulled off a small tag attached to one of the flowers. She checked the room quickly to ensure that Rima had already left before opening it.

_I told you you'd feel better._

_ -A.K._

She smiled and placed the card next to the flowers on the table. Plucking a pink daisy from the group, she brought it to her nose and took a deep breath only to smell.....nothing.

"DAMMIT!"

_I wish I had a nose._

**Well ladies and gentlemen, that's it for now so I'll see you back next chapter!**

**Reviews are loved!**

**-Lilly**


	5. To Hell in Wings

**To all those reading my story Silence, I am so horribly sorry, it's not even funny. My plot bunnies just hopped right out the window and off into the dark. It is my new mission in life to bring them back, but for now, I'm so sorry.**

**Now, to all those reading THIS story (which you must be if you're reading this) I'm sorry again. My writing time has been limited lately and things got out of hand.**

**Well, now that that's done, on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or Pon & Zi (whoever owns them is extremely lucky)**

_You won't go to Heaven because you'll make all the other angels look ugly._

She swirls the blood imitation carefully as the clock strikes one. It is bitter and unpleasant but it's the only exception to academy law and she'll accept it. (Because _he _enforced the laws and never – never – could she go against him.) So she waits and waits and waits. Even though she knows she's lying to herself when she says someone has to wait and welcome him. (Stupid girl, he'll never come home for you, wasting your time...)

So she waits some more and sips the bitter tablet water and dreams of what it would be like if he _did _come home just for her. (And no one bothers to remind her that he won't be home for another three days, she knows...) In fact, she sits there until there are footsteps on the staircase and finally someone has noticed that maybe she's a little _too _far gone this time.

"Ruka? Why are you still awake?" The curtains are shut to hide her from the sun, casting the dorm into its own personal night.

She stares at him, wordlessly. She tilts her head to observe him carefully, still without sound. Finally she speaks when he fidgets uncomfortably and is about to speak himself. (Because he's not sure if she is sleep walking or out of her mind.)

"Am I a bad person?"

He thinks for a minute, considering his response carefully.

"You could be." She turns her head so that her hair is a wall between them and silently taps the cushion beside her. _(Sit with me.)_ So he does. (Because they are the same and he can't deny her anything.)

"I've done horrible things." She says quietly. There is an atmosphere that begs for peace and silence.

"You've been... manipulative." She turns her face to him and smirks.

"To say the least." Suddenly she frowns, placing her glass on the table in front of her. "Why are you so accepting of me?"

He bites back his reply. _(Because I love you, obviously...)_

"I've known you for a long time, Ruka." She lets out a sort of half-snort, which isn't quite lady-like, but still manages to be venerable. (She is, after all, still Ruka Souen.)

"And that's given you a tolerance?"

He sighs. "Well..."

"Exactly." She whispers fiercely. Her eyes burn with anger, determination. "I don't understand you. I drag you through the dirt repeatedly, and you still try to defend me. I practically have a one-way ticket to Hell. Anyone else would have abandoned me _years _ago and yet you're still here."

"You're not going to hell." _(Angels are such jealous things, so competitive...)_

She looks at him, pondering.

"You seem sure of yourself."

"I am." _(Oh how jealous they'd be of you...)_

"Why?" _(Such beauty and grace...)_

He stares at her. She stares back. For a moment they just take in the present situation, both trying to figure out how they always end up in positions like this.

"You're not fully to blame."

"Are you saying the things I've done aren't my fault?" She smirks. "I gave my blood to a man who will never love me."

"He took it."

"I pushed away people that cared for me."

"They left you."

"I've thought about killing the Cross girl."

"You haven't." Her smirk turns to a sneer as her words become more bitter, more deadly. She knows her target.

"I've been sleeping with you in hopes of getting caught. Putting both of our families at risk just for the thrill of the crime."

Somewhere, in a deep, deep part of her mind she doesn't want to believe that sex with him had been sinful. Something inside her wants to believe that if she were threatened she would declare it as love. She knows she never would.

His face is hidden, staring down at things he doesn't see. She's hurt him. _(Not quite enough, not yet...) _He speaks quietly, the answer she always knew he would give.

"I gave in."

She has an evil, twisted representation of a grin on her face. (She knows how it will end, the last move.) She grasps his face in one hand, blood-red nails scraping his jaw, lifting his eyes to hers. And it's so cold, he thinks, as she presses her cheek to his and breathes in his ear, still grinning that twisted grin. How cold, how cold...

"_You weren't the only one._"

(She knows she's hit her mark.)

His breath catches and suddenly the air is growing hot. He wrenches her hand off of him so quickly that she is thrown onto her back, still grinning like a mad woman, tears running quickly down the sides of her face.

His skin is fire to the touch and for some reason she can't get enough of the heat. Still reaching for him as he stands but lacking the ability to get up.

He glares at her. (And someone's finally created cold fire she notices.)

"You're a bitch."

And by the time he leaves it doesn't matter if she lied or not because she's finally been abandoned by everyone and she is alone in her world. _(You're safe, you're safe, my demons can't come for you...)_

And she cries and smiles and sobs and laughs until the sound drives her crazy and she can't tell the difference between them anymore. She stays that way until she just can't take it anymore, until she falls asleep; until he comes back for her again.

And he's still hurt, she's still a bitch, and he still loves her. So he pulls her covers over her and kisses her hair and turns out the light before shutting the door.

(She could never go to Hell.)

When it's shut he shudders and falls to the floor against the wall. He cries.

(He would bargain with the devil to take his soul instead.)

_You won't go to Heaven because you'll make all the other angels look ugly._

**Ummm, can you say psychotic? Honestly, I didn't even **_**plan **_**on that happening. This story was actually supposed to be somewhat fluffy. I really should stop feeding my plot bunnies leftovers. 0_o**

**You know the review button loves you, so how about you love it back, hmm?**

**Until next time.**

**-Lilly**


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